The guy offers a girl to play cards. Jokes about card games, poker, preference, Lieutenant Rzhevsky, Chukchi, Sherlock Holmes, Petka, Vasily Ivanovich, Vovoch. Let's play fool

Pop and two hussars. Pop ordered the eight, remains without one.

Allow! Lord! How so? - perplex pop.

I had eight trumps !!!

Singing, Bath, alignment, - console his hussars.

***

A man in Sberbank removes all the money from the book - a rather significant amount. Cashier asks:

Bought something?

Bought, as I bought it!

Cottage?

Not.

Car?

No, not a car.

And what?

Two aces on meser.

***

Man is judged for the murder. The judge asks:

The defendant, tell us how it was.

Well, as it was ... we drank a bullet. The witness ordered seven tambourines. I carry a peach, and the dead - a peach, I'm Tufu, and the dead - Tufu ...

Well, so it was necessary to the candlestick, - the judge interrupts hotly.

I did, - the defendant sighs humbly.

***

The hostess at home, where the bullet dragged down until the morning, looks at the gamblers with a displeased view (obviously, they prevent her sleep):

Lord! Whether it is hiding!

Not shumi, please, dear, - the husband asks sharply.

You see, this house is no longer ours.

***

Ask the debtor:

When will you pay your duty?

I did not know that you were so curious - the debtor responds.

***

Two Zec and Chukchi go long from north in a train coupe. Skobet. Sakes were advised and say:

Chukchi, and Chukchi, let's play in the card for money?

I don't know, I know you, you jeopardize me in your games!

And let's play some of your Chukotka game.

"Something, we will not understand the rules of some Chukotka card game?!" - Sacks thought about themselves. Chukcha says:

Okay. Play in chombu!

Put on the con. Chukchi passed the cards. Only zeki took the cards, Chukchi yell:

CHOMBA !!! - And creates money.

Sakes ask:

And what is the meaning?

And who will say first - he won!

Rent on the second time - the zacks praise the cards and yell:

"CHOMBA !!!" Chukchi quietly takes his cards, looks, creates money and says:

Trump Chomba!

***

Play cards two idle. One other asks:

Do you know how to look?

I can.

And poker?

Where is it where?

***

The presidents of Ukraine, Georgia and Kyrgyzstan are sitting in the cards. An hour later, all the money ended, all in misunderstandings - someone should be won - where the money was. And only the calm James Bond continued to portray the table.

***

Old card player sniffers son:

First, never play cards!

Second, never order peaks by trumps!

***

Yasha Rabinovich, the famous Odessa Card Shuler, appears before God. The Lord asks him:

What do you want?

I want to paradise.

Ruled out. Shulers no place in paradise.

From now on I promise to play honestly. Maybe they will repaint poker?

For what?

If I win, get to the paradise, if I lose - in hell.

Okay, - thinking, God agrees. - I rent a card.

Rabinovich:

Just ask without miracles!

***

Husband and wife, embarrassed to call things with their names, agreed if some of them want to make love, will say: "I have ace", and if not - "I have a six." Night has come.

Husband:

I have a ace!

Wife:

And I have a six.

But listen, I have a TUZ!

And I have a six!

The husband was offended and turned away to the wall. Over time:

I have a ace! - The wife says.

And I have a six, the husband is gloatingly.

Wife folds blanket and indignant:

You also have a TUZ !!!

So what is this game - to pry in other people's cards!

***

Play in the map of Koschey Immortal, Baba Yaga, smart cop and stupid cop. On the table lies a lot of money. Suddenly goes out the light. When the light is lit, there is no money.

Question: Who stole money?

Answer: Stupid Ment.

Question: Why?

Answer: Because all the rest are fictional characters.

***

There are two gentlemen on the deck of liner.

Awful boredom, sir, "says one.

Do you want to play cards?

I would be happy, sir, but, alas, the last time I played 15 years ago.

Nothing terrible, I am 20 years ago. Steward, please, please, the deck of cards.

Steward brings cards. The first takes a deck, weighs her on the palm and says.

One card is missing, sir.

The second also takes a deck on the palm and clarifies.

Eight peak, sir.

***

After the game in the card, which was all night, the loser must pay a large amount of money to its partners.

I refuse to pay, - he decisively stated.

Why?

One of us Zhulnichlov!

Who?

I!

***

After playing poker, Windows issues a message:

You lost $ 275. Insert them, please in the drive A: and click Any Key.

What do in this case: Lamer, user, hacker and new Russian.

Lamer: We begin to drink $ 275 in the drive A and look for any key.

User: With a terribly satisfied view, gives RESET and runs to tell friends about how he "hacked" poker.

Hacker: At the next computer, quickly writes a program that emulates twisting $ 275 per drive A. Then within 3-4 weeks write the corrections of the program for emulation 300, 400 and 500 dollars to drives A, B, etc.

New Russian: From all over Dari beats a fist on a drive A and begins to warmly search for delivery in the drive B.

***

Play cards Two new Russians and suddenly one of them says:

Listen, I flew through my head!

Bratan, and just shot you!

***

Waiter, your musicians play on request?

Of course, sir.

Then let them play poker to the end of my dinner.

***

Play cards up to three in the morning. One player says to another:

I do not like, now I will come home, rent a shoe, quietly will enter that the wife does not hear, but she is always a bitch, wakes up and starts to cut me, and the case ends the quarrel.

And I do differently: loudly knock on the door, shouting, my wife wakes up, opens the door, I beat her on the ass and say, how about fucking? Never objects.

***

One professional preference player learned that somewhere in the wilderness, in the country forgotten by God, the best preferenceist lives in the hut, which never makes mistakes and knows all the subtleties and nuances of the game. He decided to find him to learn all these wisdoms. After long searches, I found an old man living in a poor house. He told why he came, he stayed with him for several months and learned to all thoughtful and unthinkable premisses of the preference. When the player was leaving, he decided to ask a question that he did not give rest all this time:

Tell me, I made sure that you really know all the nuances, layouts, options and receptions of the game in the preference, which no player knows about! But why do you know how to play like that, live in this wilderness in poverty. Would you make a lot of money and live rich and happily?

You see, son, I'm not rushing card ...

***

Lieutenant Rzhevsky, do you play piano?

Yes.

And on the guitar?

Yes.

And on the drum?

Yes.

And on the harp?

Not. There is no harp, the map through the strings slipped.

***

Play Shulera with a newcomer in poker.

Opened cards, the newcomer was indignant.

How so? How can you have 3 aces when I have 2 hands?

Schuler thought a little and says:

One ace from another deck, "looked at his own and other people's cards, reached for a novice card, snatched the peak ace.

This is the extra.

How do you know?

And the remaining cards are closed.

***

Father at home plays poker with buddies at home. There was a decent bank, trade is coming. At this point, a four-year-old son runs up to the father and looks into the cards:

Oh, dad, and four aces is good?

Father through teeth:

Yes! son...

Everyone immediately leaves, and the father takes the bank.

Son:

Sorry, dad, that you did not have them ...

***

The man wakes up with a creepy bodier, remembers only that he had a friend, and calls him. The buddy meets the depressed voice. The man is interested in:

Why are you so killed?

Yesterday we played in poker yesterday, and I blurted out.

Yes. And I remember anything. And how much I won?

Yes garbage, two hundred rubles!

***

Among the prisoners are a psychological test. They are shown a photo where a pair of newlyweds is depicted against the background of the cemetery and ask to tell what they see.

Robber:

Well, pillars are good, dear. Rings either nothing, and the clock of the tuft, nothing is worth ...

Assassin:

Two new victims among corpses. Cool, a lot, many corpses ...

Rapist:

The bride is a lustful goat, so wants to be rudely fucked right now ...

Card Schuler (threw a quick glance in the photo):

Nine bribes!

What nine bribes?

Well, eight crosses and managing ...

***

Little Johnny, you brought card debt?

Brought, brought marina. But still dishonest. The ace is something from the sleeves pulled out ...

And how else will you collect with you to repair the school?

***

You, Watson, again played poker in large.

Surprisingly, Holmes! But how did you guessed?

Elementary Watson! From all your clothes on you only tie and hat.

***

Four cheesers play cards. The viewer whispers in one of the players:

Listen, and this one passed 4 aces!

The player is calmly responsible:

That's right, it's his surrender!

***

The cowboy enters the bar, and there are three men and a dog at the table and play poker.

Well, a smart dog! - Says a cowboy.

One of the players is responsible:

Yes, not, bad when she has a good card, the tail is wagging.

***

My husband comes home in the morning. Wife:

So what do you say this time?

You see, dear, I walked home after work and met such a beautiful woman that I could not resist, I met her and stayed with her spent the night.

***

Stalin, Beria and Molotov play a preference.

Stalin - "Sest Duck".

Beria - "Sea Chirv".

Molotov - "Eight Tref".

Stalin - "Sest Duck".

- "PAS".

- "PAS".

***

One preference player says to another:

Here they say that preference is a game for heartless people. Not true! Yesterday we have one of the players died, so we have flimsy standing.

***

Early morning. The man walking down the street of the street preference, stops a rare random passerby and asks:

What time is it now?

Five to eight.

It's like 60 on the mountain, or what?

***

The new church officer served to the priest while he reads the sermon, and whispered:
- Father, there on the choir ... play poker.
"I know," Pastor whispered, "but first I have to finish here.

***

A nightmare prefersist sleep: "I play, then Mizeres. I go, I go, I go ..."

***

All night at the prisoner zone played fool for undressing, to the first cocks ...

***

There is still no Pas culture football players, "the coach of Ivanov said, playing with the wards in the preference.

***

A card combination from the ace and the king (AK) in poker is sometimes called "Anna Kournikova", since this combination looks beautifully, but rarely wins.

***

What is common with sex with poker?

If you do not have a good partner, then there must be a happy hand.

***

In prison, one prisoner asks another:

What are you sitting for?

As soon as he began to win the prosecutor in the preference, it was immediately caught on bribes.

***

Sakes at the table to play a bear, hare and fox. Says the Bear:

I warn everyone: who will be tormented - will get on a cunning red face!

***

In one of the poker rooms there is a game of poker. Suddenly one of the players snatch a gun and shouts at the opponent:

I hate cheelers. Explain, how did you get the cards that I passed myself?

***

Two avid preferences were tired of playing prefers and decided to break the game in the fool. Distributed cards:

You're a fool! (The first appreciated his cards).

I agree! (The second appreciated his cards).

***

A few people play on the beach in the card. Here the man was held near and went to them with his advice:

Go like a lady! No, no, go king! Oh, better ace!

In the end, one of the players could not stand, got up and told the adviser:

Sit on my place if you want to play so much!

Thank you, what are you playing?

***

Pupils are standing with maps in their hands, passes near the teacher, grabs the first ear of the ears and let's carry, saying:

Do you know why you punish you? - asks the teacher.

I know. I walked in vain from a trump card.

***

Five years old asked:

Yes, I can ... six, seven, eight, nine, ten!

Yes, I know ... Valts, lady, king, ace!

***

On the bench, a group of teenagers plays cards and pass two adults.

What a disgrace! - one of them is indignant. Children play cards, and all adults pass by them.

Well, yes, "says the other," I tried to stop yesterday here, so I lost all salary!

***

I was told that you taught your wife to play cards?

Yes, he taught, and turned out to be right. Now she has been playing half of his salary.

***

Oh, you are a rogue! - the grandmother exclaims, playing with Lovochka in a fool.

Yes grandma!

Do you know granddaughters, what happens to those who are bulls?

Yes, I know my grandmother, he always wins.

***

Ask Lieutenant Rzhevsky:

Tell the lieutenant, what is the monarchy?

This is when the state rules the king!

And if the king dies?

Then the queen!

And if the queen dies?

Valet!

***

Petka asks Vasily Ivanovich:

Vasily Ivanovich, what tool do you like to play?

On the Big Drum.

Why?

And from it cards on the floor do not fall.

***

Sit Three soldiers in the guard room and play cards, which is prohibited by the charter of the guard service. The officer comes. Soldiers hide cards. An officer:

Play cards, bastards!

No, your wellness! Officer asks the first soldier:

Who are you?

Russian.

Knee on the Bible, that did not play.

Swear. The officer appeals to the second soldier:

And who are you?

Tatar.

Swear on the Quran.

Swear. Finally, the third turn came.

And who are you?

Jew.

Knee, Zhid Morda, on Talmud.

Your wellness! If Russian did not play, Tatar did not play, then with whom I could play with then?

***

One of the gamns is losing all the time.

Do not worry, - the partners calm down, - who does not bring to the card, lucky in love.

Yes? - the one is surprised. I have been forty years old, and I'm still not married.

See, it means I'm right.

***

Cheeler ask:

Why do you always win cards, and lose the lottery?

I would have won in the lottery if they trusted to pass.

***

In Sochi, one of the sanatoriums play preferences. One partner takes 5 stacks on mesen, upset and go swimming. Swims quite far and starts shouting, rev.:

Help! Help! Several people rushed into the water and, when they fell to him, he says to them:

Masterless!

***

One player asks another:

Why, when you play with me, always win?

Because you always lose!

***

Two card players speak:

Listen, I opened a winning poker system.

It's impossible. With any system today lucky, and tomorrow there is no.

That's it, so I play every other day!

***

Announced the beach in the resort town:

Citizens vacationers! A convincing request not to play with the locals in the cards, as they know the bite!

***

John with Bill play poker. John accidentally fell out of the hand and he climbed under her table. There he saw that Bill's wife without panties. Redneck John got out of the table and continued the game. A little later, in the kitchen, Bill's wife asked John if he noticed under the table that he liked. John replied:

Yes, I really liked it.

You can get it all about $ 100, "she said.

Bill on Fridays works in the afternoon and if you come about 2 hours after lunch, everything will be fine.

On Friday, John comes to her at 2 o'clock, thickened her carefully and paid $ 100, as agreed. In the evening, Bill comes home and immediately asks his wife, whether John came.

Yes, dear, he ran a couple of minutes, "the wife answered with reluctance.

Did he give you 100 dollars, dear? - again asked the husband's question.

Oh my God! He knows everything - the wife thought and said:

Yes, he gave me 100 dollars.

Well, great, "said her husband," he ran to work for me to work this morning and took 100 bucks, saying that I would definitely bring a debt after dinner ...

***

Young man asks a girl:

Girl, and let's play with you to undressing?

The girl answers:

Are you interested to see or boast?

***

Young people play poker, and the moment comes when all players have a large map. The bank increases everything and, finally, one of the young players says that he has no money anymore, but he wants to continue the game, and he needs to call his father who will bring money. He is allowed to do this and so he went to the next room and whisper speaks to the phone:

Dad, I have a worm ace, king, lady, currencies, ten - Flash piano. No one can beat me, but fortunately the partners also have a big map, the bank is huge, very please, bring money.

Soon, his father comes, comes to the table, looks at the cards of the son and puts money to packs to the bank. Seeing such a thing, partners throw cards, and father and son take the bank. When everyone went away, the son says Father:

Dad, well, why did you scare them a bunch of money? They would have added to the bank, and so immediately everyone understood.

What a father replied:

Son, I see that you have not mastered the three important boring commandments.

The first, if you already win well, be noble and do not undress partners before the thread.

Second, never call out loud of your cards, even in another room.

And the third, 3 shots and 2 tambourines are not a flush piano.

***

Two men leave the casino at night after playing poker, one completely naked, and the other in some shorts. Naked fully says to that in shorts:

For what I respect your brother, so it's for the fact that you can stay on time!

***

The guy tells his girlfriend before the wedding:

Dear, you understand, I am a man, and the man has its troubles - every Wednesday I'm leaving all night with friends to play poker. On the weekend I learn to hunt for two days. Do you accept my rules or not?

The girl answers:

I accept your rules, but I have my own. Every Friday evening, I'm leaving to play the point.

***

In one organization, they decided to conduct a seminar for survival in extreme conditions. They brought everyone to the uninhabited island and ask the blonde secretary:

What do you think 3 things need you when you get lost?

Blonde answers:

Compass, water and deck of cards!

And then why?

Well, how! Only begin to play the solitator, how someone behind the back will surely say: "Fool! It was necessary to put a black nine on the Red Ted!"

***

Young man offers a girl to play cards:

Let's play sex!

How is it?

If I win, I'll sleep with you!

And if I?

Well then you will spend with me!

***

And why do you get into the cards so much, and you never win on jumps?

Have you ever tried to shove the horse in the sleeve?

***

Little Johnny comes to school all in bruises and beaten. Marya Ivanna asks:

Little Johnny Why do you look like that?

And he in response to her:

Pope and friends played at home in the preference, I approached and asked him: "What time is it?", He replied: "Nine", Uncle Petya said: "PAS", and Uncle Kolya said: "Vista".

***

The fortune teller decides its cards and tells the client:

O-Daaaaa! Up to fifty years you will suffer from lack of money.

And what then?

And then you get used to.

***

Imagine my friends yesterday with me played in the podorka fool!

What is it like?

Yes, we drank and threw me to my own wife.

***

The husband comes in the evening to his home, meets his wife on the threshold and says:

Wife, come on, I lost you to the cards.

How so?

Yes, I myself was upset. And the pay almost lost. Well, that in time stopped.

***

A man runs around the city, wants to the toilet, and nowhere to go. He sees the sign "Gay Club", ran into the toilet. And there are three in a row and have sex. The guy pops up to the Swiss:

There you have three men of that ...

And in the middle of such a red beard?

Yes.

And this and the card is always lucky.

***

How is your son-in-law, Mrs. Smith?

Everything would be fine, but he does not know how to play cards.

Sorry, but it's a huge plus!

No, rather minus: he does not know how to play, but plays.

***

A young man (m) meets a dirty homeless (b), who asks him some money.

M thoughtfully takes out the wallet and asks.

M: - If I give you a couple of bucks, you will drink them?

B: - What are you, I have long stopped drinking.

M: - Well then in the card you will lose.

B: - What are you, I have long left gambling. I would only cheer.

M: - What about spending on a woman? Let even like you.

B: - You're crazy. Yes, I have already 20 years without this case.

M: - Excellent. I will not give you a couple of bucks. Instead, I take you home on a stunning dinner cooked by my wife.

B: - But your wife will beat you. I am dirty, and probably terrible smell.

M: - nonsense. I want her to show what happens to those who do not drink, does not play cards and put a cross on the babes.

***

10 reasons why cards are better than any woman:

When you open a deck, you always know that you are the first;

You can always share the game of cards with friends;

At the very first signs of aging cards, you can easily replace them with new;

Maps and beer are very well compatible;

Cards never mind if you touch them with your hands;

If you play card well, you get money;

Cards are never jealous if you suddenly wanted to play, well, let's say in chess;

In the cards you can always play more than an hour;

You do not need to buy flowers and attend dear restaurants to make you pleasure;

If the cards are tired of you, then you can score them and put on the table.

***

Listen, I opened a win-win game system in the preference!

It is impossible. With any system today will win, and you will lose tomorrow.

That's it! Therefore, I only play every other day.

Let's play fool

Let's play fool,
Give your hand, here is my hand,
After all, cards - life, without them -
The game will judge who a fool.
What is played or how?
You are with money - no fool know.
I, too, a friend, not scotch -
Look, like a bunch of rustle.
Well, that, distribution. Who gives?
Patterns of life Who is a kup ...?
Tanya, you are the first, I - then,
Your "dozen" Bew Walt!
I rent ... Hold ... the game went ...
You know. the card did not come
We are both honest players
But it is not lucky for now.
And what are there cards? Life essence.
There are no differences to whit
From the circumstances of every day
In my fate, in your fate.
And we will be alive yet
Play will have to fool
Among colleagues, among friends
To be an eagle among geese.
We play an hour, playing two ...
I am afloat barely,
And you, making two wings,
Guseya verb in the life of an eagle.
The fourth hour passed ... Sixth ...
And I became money for money ... empty.
And I placing two wings,
Gusey verb life eagle ...
So played fool.
Give your hand, here is my hand!
What cards? Life ... Fate is their sign.
The game will judge who a fool.

04.10. 2017 ..
​
Precious Games

Donid, suddenly, became Rodnoy Panther
And opened the doors
Castle Lviv, family of tigers,
But ... he was weak in the predatory games.
Feast yes holiday - two weeks,
Olenina Guests ate
Praised the groom with the bride
The royal throne is donkey.
Loading deer parts
He wanted happiness all.
The wedding lasted two weeks,
Olenina guests ate,
And died with his panther
The guest has confused all the power.
Live the donkey b in the findings of lush,
But ... he was weak in the games of predatory,
And breakfast, at dawn,
He was his wife (from Rodniy) ... Estane.
If you are weak in the predatory games -
Fear of castles of Lviv and Tigers,
And Panthers Thin Stan
For donkeys, deception.
​
04.10.2017.
Love from heaven (lyrics).

You came down from heaven in fog,
I did not sleep, and was not drunk,
And your bright silhouette
Light around dawn.

From the sky fallen star.
I didn't believe myself,
If I did not seek in life,
Had blood in temples.

You lit, I closed the dawn,
And love is so scarlet color
There is now in my soul,
And only you only in it.
And only you only in it.
And only you only in it.

2nd verse:

White wing
To me the angel you went,
Only me, alas, not God,
And it would not be able to take it.

Faith is mine
Filled me again
Warmed in the body blood,
And so the love came.

3rd verse:

I do not know the address to me
Where hope is on earth
But with you to be
I will serve her.

You came down from heaven in fog,
I did not sleep, and was not drunk,
And your bright silhouette
Light around dawn.

Hello, dear readers! Before proceeding to the essence of this fanfish, I would like to dip you in the memoirs about the anime "Dark Butler". Who watched him, should remember those first series in which Count Siel Phantomhev investigated the case of Jack Ripper. And then, in some of those series, * it seems in the fourth * Siel with Sebastian went to the country house of the graph. There, they suddenly meet Siel's aunt, Madame Rad, her uncomfortable suicide and local drug dealer, familiar Siel, Lau Tao. * Nothing so the company ... * Of course, the young graph did not understand what they did there, but it does not matter. Siell at this time came to an alert about the next murder of another prostitute. He together with this company went to the crime scene. Only here, the Inspector Aberleyne did not let them there. But our graf Phantomhev is a persistent person! He began his own investigation and first of all went to his informant, the arter. And of course I went with him all the rest. And here it takes the beginning exactly what interests us. Everyone began to try to make a rejection renouncement, but it was possible only Sebastian. No one did not understand how he succeeded, because the pre-butler expelled all over the door. True, all this was not particularly and worried, but Lau decided to bring the case to the end and laughing the gray-haired rebuke on his own. * For he was the same persistent, as fantomheiv * laau began to invent different ways to achieve his goal. Periodically, he asked his sister-called Lan Mao, that she thinks about this or that plan, but he always received an unsatisfactory answer. So he thought for a very long time, moved different jokes and jokes, funny stories and jokes, but never could come up with nothing worthy. After a couple of weeks, such a thoughtful laau was bored with all these pondering, and he decided to do so, as he did when he was bored himself. In general, he took his hookah and headed to the Bureau of Ritual Services ... For some time, Lau was already opposite the building with the sign "Undertaker". He waited a little, not deciding to enter inside, but he gathered with his thoughts, nevertheless opened the door. - Is anybody here?! - as always as smooth and calm voice asked Chinese. From the far corner heard a creak. The cover of one of the coffins leaned back, and from there a coffin appeared. - Chicheth who granted us? - Squeezing voice and with a wide smile asked the owner of the funeral bureau. - My name is Lau. If you remember, I came here with a young graph and tried to make you laugh. - Oh yeah, I remember. You seem to see the Shanghai smiling tigrome. - recalled the serve, coming closer to the guest. - Have you greeted with? For information or a grude want to buy? - Not that and not else. I came to do what I could not do that time. - You intrigued me. Continue. - I came to laugh you! - solemnly finished his speech Lau. - And what should I have for it? - asked the legendary. - You just have to give me your absolute consent to this. - with a cunning smile explained Tao. "I am always not against laughter, so here you are my absolute" yes! ". - delighted the coffin. "Well, then let's start ... saying it, the guest pulled the package from behind the back, with whom he came, and showed his hookah tumor. And since the legendary already gave his consent to the fact that Lau mixed it in any way, he could not worry. He hung on the door "closed" plate and diverted a guest to one of the rooms under the main premises. After half an hour, the shifts stretched from the same room. He dopened his head and was clearly a narcotic composition. * It's not even surprising here * But from the room stretched not only smoke, but also the sounds that merged into two brave voices: - Well, Lau! Well, do not! Oh, you, Shalun! Hichi - a cobster spoke to a loose voice, stretching every word. - No, you need! You yourself said you want it! - Hich heighths, so enough! I can break your nails about you! Giggles - do not worry, I will do it very carefully! But I have to finish! Well, you have already guessed what two smoked guys can do in the dark room alone? Did you give the will to your imagination? And now we will check your assumptions and look for this mysterious door ... We look there and see: the servers sits on the coffin in the lotus position, with a tube from hookah in his mouth, and rzhet, choking his hands from Lau. He, in turn, sits squatting behind the coffin and tickle legendary! * Well, converges with your version? * The coffin no longer stopped giggling, but also did not fall with laughter. The grass has already done his work, and Tao simply brought it to the end. And so, he succeeded! He performed his dream, which cherished from the very first time! He triggered some point, and the entire nearest area was shaking from the laughter of the Umbertaker. And all familiar sign "Undertaker" of course also collapsed. The next ten minutes of the coffin tried to calm down, and the Chinese was sitting with her eyes closed and continued to open a hookah. Some time later - how are you? - asked Lau. - Cool. - a satisfied voice extended a coffin. - Although, I agree, the way you chose not quite usual. Hichi - I did not come up with another. However, it came out even better than I assumed. - I agree. - Do you conveniently sit in such a pose in such boots? - asked the Chinese, putting on the legendary. - Sit down to my knees. - Yes, for whom do you take me? Hichi I'm not like that! - the coffin was indignant. - I do not sit on your knees to the first oncoming! Chihihi * Next is a little nonsense, but do not pay attention to it ... * - Okay, then look at the hookah. And the coffin looked. And since Hookah was from glass, he saw his reflection in it, but it was very distorted. Plus, the effect increased by the fact that the serve was a bit ... "inadequate." - And HTO ETO? - asked the coffin, without turning the head. * Suppose the urchitter smokes for the first time. He is not allowed to know himself. * - I do not know, but it does not matter. Now look at me. The coffin turned to Lau. - So what? Gichi - Well, how "what"? Have you seen someone now? - Saw. - Do you see me now? - I see. - So, now I am the second counter! - with triumph finished Tao. - Logic! Giggles Well, okay, persuaded! Gihahi The coffin sat on his knees to the Chinese and put his head to him on the shoulder. * For sure, like Lan Mao * he, in turn, began to stroke him on his head, after removing a black cylinder with her. They sat and enjoyed silence. Both were very satisfied with today's day: one thing was able to laugh the second, and the second thing I could laugh for just like that. Such idyll lasts until the evening. Then Lau remembered that he left his named sister one and began to gather home. The Chinese has already gathered to go away, but the legendary unexpectedly stopped him: - And let's repeat our meeting somehow? I liked to sit with you. You could brighten up my gray weekdays. - Lets do it. I was also nice to talk with you. * Although, to call what happened is quite difficult * I will come to you in the week. - I will wait! And hookah grab! - shouted the coffin in the trail of the outgoing guest. - Be sure! Week passed the Ultrasher was sitting at his office and suffered from boredom. It has been very few new customers to him recently. * Well, no one wants to die, that's all * there was no work. In London, it was calm, and the Graph Phantomhev also did not visit the legendary. He sat and thought why his new friend, Lau, and did not go to him "in the week." But he promised! And then the coffin decided to come to the Chinese himself. * He knows everything, therefore, the location of Tao did not compute much difficulty * he got together, hung on the door all the same sign "closed" and headed for a visit to a new friend. After some time, the servers was already in place and entered the room. There was no one, but smoke, as always, stood everything around. From this smoke, the coffins, as well as the head turned his head and struck him into laughter. - Hich heighths are there who?! Hichi Lau! Are you here?! Gichihi - shouted arriving through the laugh. A Chinese with his named sister came out of his named sister, Lan Mao and approached the guest. But seeing his new friend in it, he smiled and with joyful notes in his voice said: - What people! I did not expect you to see here. What did you greek with? - And I got bored! Hichi you do not come to me, and I decided to come to you. Gichi - Daaa ...? Who are you? - ??? Actually I am a Ultrasher! Chihihi did you come to me at the beginning of the week to laugh me, remember? - Oh yes! For sure! Now I found out! You are the wounder who works in the funeral bureau and is an informant of a young graph. * How however, he switched to "you" on "you" * - you are absolutely right! I came to have fun once again! Gichihi - Well, pass. What did we stop there? ... And again they sit, as sitting at that time: Lau on the bench, and the coffin on his knees, putting his head on his shoulder. They sat and smoked hookah. The legendary occasionally giggled over jokes of a friend, and he in turn stroked him on his head. At such moments they had fun with each other, but they decided that there should be more fun! ... - Maybe we will play anything? - suggested Lau. - Lets do it! Giggles what will be playing? - Let's play cards? - Come on! Hichi - answered the coffin and began to blind with Tao. Some time later, the Chinese has already been followed by cards and returned to his guest. - What game do you want to play? - asked Lau. - And I do not know any game, so I do not care. Gichihi - And what did you agree to play, since you can't know how? - Interesting! Gihahi - Want, I will teach you to play "Fool"? - Want! - agreed the coffin. - So, listen to and remember ... And Lau began to explain the guest, as you need to play cards. He explained for a long time, and finally, the urbeller understood the rules and meaning of the game. Tao passed the cards. The game began. They successfully played five horses, three of whom won the coffin. Then there were five more horses, and this time legendary won everything !!! So they played until the evening, and every time losing Lau. * This is exactly the "newcomers lucky" * Suddenly, Lan Mao approached them and hinted that it would be time to break home. Our coffin is not a fool, and realized what they want from him: - Well, I will probably go. - I think, yes. It is a pity that I did not have time to recoup, but I will definitely do it next time! - Until a friend. Giggles - so far. - I said goodbye to Lau and closed the door behind the arter. - How could I lose him so many times? - asked the sister of Chinese. In response, she only shrugged and sat down on his knees ... Many times, friends converged in card fights, and with time Lau began to recoup. Then he brought the game to the fact that they were equal with the coffin of losses. So it continued for quite a long time, but no one except Lan Mao still knew about their friendship. And once, Lau, as usual, went to the legendary with the intention to play cards, and an interesting thought came to him. He decided to offer his opponent to experiment ... - Hello! Is anybody here?! - shouted Chinese, entering the funeral office. - Yes Yes! Come! - As always, the courtee invited his coffin. The legendary, as always on such days, hung on the door the sign "closed" and headed for his guest to the same room where it all started ... - I wanted to offer you something new. - said Lau. - What? - And first tell me, you agree or not. - Well ... Gihahi agrees! * risked, not afraid * - I thought a little, answered the coffin. "Now I can find out what subscribed to?" - Of course you can! - Keetan said triumphantly. - You subscribed to the game in the "fool" for undressing! - ... - Coffin in the pit. After a moment, the entire quarter was shocked from the laughter of the Umbrella. A couple of minutes he moved away from laughter, and Lau at that time distributed the cards. The game began. The first con won Tao, and the legendary, for the loss, took off his hat. * Apparently, so why he walks in her at home ... * The second Kon won the coffin, and the opponent took off his shoes. The third end won Lau again, and the coffin took off his boots. * Probably it was long * ... So they played until both were left in some shorts. But then there was something that did not expect not one of the players: Siel entered into their room. He entered, and almost collapsed in fainting. Yet, not every day you will see two naked guys playing cards in the funeral bureau, the gloomy "grass". Fortunately, he was supported by Sebastian. But, as we know, the count was very proud. He pushed the demon and shouted to the whole office: - What's going on here?! - Oh, the young Graf granted. Join us. - a calm and smooth voice answered Lau. - Understand, what are you doing here?! I came to you in the case, and you ...! I don't even know how to call everything! And in general, since when are you so khm khm jerked with Lau?! * It is not very clear what the difference in him, which makes a coffin and with whom he communicates. All the same adult man and reaper in the end. It has the right. * - Count, this is not what you thought about! I will explain everything now! - began to justify the coffin. Reaper began to pull the trousers and shirt on himself. The Chinese wore his kimono and quickly gathered a hookah in a bag. Then everyone went to the main room (there was no such caustic odor there) and the players began to explain the whole story from the very beginning ... When they finished, the urbeller poured all the tea and asked the count to be what he saw today remained in secret. For this he helped Siell with the disclosure of the very thing he came. After the graph and his butler were removed by their affairs, the coffin and Lau decided that they would now not only hang on the door "closed" sign, but also close it on the key. * It is strange that this thought did not come to the heads earlier ... * Friends did not stop walking towards a visit to visit and play the card after this incident, because it was liked both. And maybe once, having finished the game in the "fool" for undressing, they will move to more adult games, but it will be a completely different story ...

Notes:

Sorry for the relative nonsense and a bunch of mistakes. I just learn to write similar stories and realize my inexperience in this matter. As you develop and the manifestation of nonsense, I try to correct all this. I apologize in advance for the read you.